I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im drinking this country out of the recession.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
