dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
