This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
