This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
