So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
