The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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