Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
