when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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