I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
