we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Mom said you looked used
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
