I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
