About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My feet surprised me
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
