You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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