No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
