a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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