Yo dont text me then not text me
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
