Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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