is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I skipped work to stalk him.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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