No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
