Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
