K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
