My pussy is not your playground.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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