he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
