I'm really into asian looking animals
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize