at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
