love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
