I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
