Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
