Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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