worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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