Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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