All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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