Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
