Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
