I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
