We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
