I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
