If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Randomize
