Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
