if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
