I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
