i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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