Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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