i need an iv and a liver transplant
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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