I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
