I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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