Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
