Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
