Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
