im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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