Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I cannot find my penis.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
